Sometimes by Friday, I have a lot on my mind. Things through out the week that sort of culminate. Not in the sense that I've found solutions or figured these things all out but just they brew until I spill all my guts to God and give it all to him.
So here it is. Friday. And here's some of what is on my mind:
*Since we sold most of our stuff, we have barely any furniture. And it fun to think about going garage sale-ing and flea market shopping to find steals to redo-repaint-jazz it up. I love stuff like this and now I'll have a reason to do it all the time. We have alot of theories on american consumerism and I like the idea of finding used stuff and revamping it rather than spending entirely too much on new furniture just because I want it to look like it came out of a catalog into my house.
*It's no secret that I'm the girl that you know that after two years since I had a baby, I'm still struggling with the way that I look. I lost all the pregnancy weight and even lost what I call my baby blues/surgery coping weight. But I don't like the way it looks still. (c-section moms can I get a shot out?) I'm completely intrigued by the concept of clean eating (check out: www.cleaneatingworks.com) and even started to implement it for breakfast and lunch. It hard to do when I'm living with my parents so I decided to be relaxed about it until we move.
Bella Vista is also a great area for getting really active. They have walking, running and biking trails all over. They also have a lot of local places to go hiking, etc. So I'm excited about getting out with Jax more and running. I'm also really inspired by this catalog: (www.athleta.gap.com).
God has really identified some issues and sin in my life that stem all the way back to how I viewed myself as a child. And what I thought women were supposed to be and look like and I'm terrible about looking at all my thin friends and wondering what is wrong with me, that God didn't make me that way.
But what this catalog energizes me to do is to get active, get solid, get fit, get really healthy and get confident. More importantly though, is I'm coming to terms with what God wants to do in my heart and my body. I'm sure there's much more discussion on this topic because it's a big issue in my life. I never want to brag about how much weight I've lost and such because it's more important to glorify God in what he is doing in me.
*Jax has therapy three times a week. And is making huge strides. And God reminded me this week that its just like our spiritual lives. Unless we are consistent to let him aide us everyday, unless we are utilizing his power and "therapy", there's really no way that we'll make progress in our lives. But with him-we can start to make huge strides.
*I have a friend who weighs heavy on my heart every single day. She is living in sin and her heart is outside the will of God. I pray for her salvation. I love her so much it's painful most of the time because she is hurting herself and everyone around her. But I'm struggling with truth in love. Because to me Love is not Love without speaking truth. But she doesn't want to hear anything about truth, she only wants to hear about happiness and rainbows. So, what now?
Well, I have no idea. I just laid it on the altar of submission today. I need to rest in the fact that it truly doesn't matter what I say or don't say. It doesn't matter than my spiritual gift is prophecy. It only matters that she is in God's hands. He is the one who holds her heart. And so I just pray that he will break through the darkness in her and release her into freedom and true salvation.
*One of the girls that was in the group of girls that I spoke to last weekend about purity called my friend who meets with them weekly and told her that she and her boyfriend had made some radical desicions about their purity and their relationship. This is such an encouragement to me and proves how can speak our broken lives and crazy stories, our regrets and our heartbreak- to help the next generation understand the vitality of our purity!
That's enough spilling of my guts for now.