It's my ongoing lesson. As I have told you before this year as a mother I have learned to go with the flow, and somedays you just have to do what works. For example, Jax's big struggle as a
cleft kid has been eating. Even now, after he has a palate, somedays he just doesn't feel like drinking..or he'll drink the pediasure but not the formula, or he'll drink from his batman cup but not the sippy cup. It changes, trust me. So, when it comes to getting liquid in him..whatever works.
Or sometimes I literally have five minutes before we need to be somewhere and I just need to fix my hair. I will confess that I let Jax completely destroy the bathroom, just to fix my hair. I'll rewind the toilet paper later or restock the "feminine" drawer later. That's terrible I know, but I've laughed about it with friends before, so I know I'm not alone.
And somedays are just like that.
And because of Jax's surgery-recovery-surgery-recovery pattern this year, there have been more of those days than I like to admit. When my emotions or stress level have been at their max. I one thing that I resorted to was the tv. I only recently took a good look at all of our habits. And the tv is one of our worst. I let Jax watch WAY too much tv. If he's having a cranky day, no doubt it is on most of the day.
I remember my Aunt Carol, who is a child physchologist, told me when Jax was a newborn, that babies shouldn't watch tv until they are 3 yrs. old. Because they can't differentiate between reality and fanasty. No, granted I am not sure how in the world you do that, I think it's a valid point. I have also heard that children playing is their "work", we are teaching them a work ethic by letting/teaching the to play (independently and with others).
I also felt convicted about later in life, that when I wanted to limit how mu
ch or what shows he watched, it would be contradictory to what I had been mindlessly letting him do for so long...just because it had been one of those days.
So, in effort to be intentional, the next day we left the tv off the ENTIRE day. And it made such a difference. Jax played so well all day and never got bored or cranky. And he would venture off into the other and play all by himself, reading books and hammering the wall or whatever.
I've been trying to be intentional in the small things with Jax, like always saying a prayer with him before we lay him down, or I sing MercyMe's "Give us clean hands" as I wipe his hands and face after meals (he laughs).
And though I feel like it maybe is natural that I have overlooked bad habits I allowed to form because we've had a tumultuous first year...it still doesn't excuse my responsibility as a parent.
This lesson have filters into every part of life. As well it should. I think that we could live the Christian life alot easier if we were intentional about it. And this was really cemented b
y something that our teaching leader said in lecture last week. She said, "There is one right thing for every moment. And you have to trust the Holy Spirit to guide you to that one right thing."
This is challenging, for sure. It's not natural. My spirit bucks when I think about it. But that's
only because I know that it is true.
There's one right reaction.
There's one right thing to say.
There's one right thing to do with your time.
There's one right person to minster to.
Which means I have to be intentional about every moment. I know, this sounds massive and unattainable. And believe me, I'm the queen of lofty goals. But though I'll never arrive, I don't want to settle for a lifestyle of doing whatever I want, all the time.
So while there will always be "whatever works" days...it doesn't have to be a lifestyle.
And this is all just an exercise in my being intentional in being vulnerable and honest, because my theory is, is that life is too short to pretend.