The many journeys of us Merediths with Cleft kids, fostering and adoption, the army, books and whatever else comes our way.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Messy but it's something
"It's messy but I'm doing something."
A friend sat on the couch in my office and together we confessed the things in our lives that we are doing...messily, awkwardly, bumpily...but doing nonetheless. A year ago we heard Jen Hatmaker say this, "Some of us just need to get on with it. Just do something. Just start somewhere. Even in a messy, clunky way. Move forward in shaky obedience."
Clunky. Shaky. Messy.
These are adjectives I'm familiar with and even identify with. Sometimes when I run (let's use the term loosely), knowing I probably look like a elderly cow, I give myself silent or sometime even social media kuddos for just being out there. "I'm out here and I'm doing it. Which is better than not doing it!" But somehow when it comes to the other things in my life, I have a suitcase of fear that weighs me down from stepping out and starting something. Even though there's a fire in my belly about certain subjects. A passion in my heart. An obsession in my brain.
But God has begun this in me. I can see it. This pervebial getting on with it.
I wrote a book. I put it (and myself) out there to the world. Was it shaky. Definitely. Was it clunky? Most likely. Was it messy? Depends on who you ask.
I adopted a hurt child. Is my parenting clunky as I learn how to parent a hurt child? I could fill a book with stories. Is parenting a hurt child messy? It hits the fan some days.
I stepped into big, foreign shoes of ministry. Am I clunky, shaky and messy. Everyday. Was my first event as women's director messy, clunky and shaky...no doubt about it.
But I'm out there, and I'm doing it and that's better than not doing it.
My friend and talked of intentionally parenting and spiritually guiding and teaching our kids. We laughed about how much pressure we felt about advent, festivities and parenting in general. I began to think...
Did we have this much pressure before Pinterest? How did we homemade before Martha? How do we engage the lils and the bigs in Jesus conversations this Christmas without overwhelming ourselves and staying up until 3am making paper bunting that matches the handmade envelopes that creatively pop out of the handmade and accessories advent calendar, which is mostly for the IG post while still utilizing media to capture and keep the kids attention.
Maybe we should just get on with it. Will God be glorified if I make this season about him even if there's no bunting? Always. Will my kids heart be molded and impacted it nothing matches and I'm clunky when I try to start new Jesus things in our home? Always. How do I know that?
In Isaiah 55:11 he says, " so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." That gived me great courage to teach the words, share the words and start new spiritual paths in my home and ministry and more book. Because his word never returns to him void. It always accomplishes the purpose that he intends. Even if I'm clunky, messy and shaky.
Mom friends, do you do devotionals with your kids? Do you not because you worry you don't know enough or don't know how to teach them? In the words of Jen Hatmaker: Get on with it. Move out in shaky obedience, even if you feel messy and clunky. Teaching your kids the ways and words of Jesus are never pointless. Do you pray with your kids more than just over meals? Do you show them how to pray before trying to solving a problem or when they are afraid or nervous or sorry? Do you not because you yourself feel clunky when you pray? Do you simply try to modify their behavior or do you teach them about character and the character of Jesus. Is every discipline situation a chance to talk about mercy, grace and Gods gift of salvation? Do you not because you feel like a mess yourself and are too tired?
Hear me when I say, I feel you. I'm right there with you. But now is the time to start something.
Women friends, do you have something in your heart that aches? Do you have a fire in a belly? Are you obsessed with change and want to be a part of it? Do you have a driving passion but no place to put it? What are you doing about it? If not, are you not because you're afraid? Do you feel clunky? Shaky? Messy?
It's time to get on with it. It's time to move out in shaky obedience. Trusting that he takes the clunkiness and developers character. He takes messy and makes mountain movers. He takes shaky and makes strong. And our obedience is never wasted and his word never returns void.
And I'm not saying it won't feel weird or that you won't hate the morning after. I'm not saying you won't beat yourself up over stupid mistakes you make. I'm not saying that you won't rethink the whole thing a 100 times (100,000). But I'm saying it's worth it.
And I'll say it to you all like Jen said it to us, some of us need to get on with it. Just do something. Start something, even in a clunky, messy way. Move out in shaky obedience. And then give yourself kiddos for being out there and doing it, because it's better than not doing it.
Whether it alters your Christmas or it alters your whole life...start something.